I just found a new spinster blog that I just love. It's got a clever title, First Person Singular. The author is a spinster like me albeit she is more sophisticated and hipper than me and isn't Mormon. I like the contrast and although we're different we still have the same spinster issues. I appreciated this recent post, http://firstpersonsingular.org/2009/10/19/post-wedding-blues/, about the post wedding blues. My favorite quote from her post, "weddings are tough. They bring up a special mix of highs and lows-from overflowing joy for the triumph of love, to the demon question: why have I been excluded from this most natural human act?"
She brings up a good point. As singletons I think we dwell on that sometimes, "what did I do wrong or what is wrong with me that I'm not married?" "Why have I been excluded?" The answer of course is unknowable, which makes it all the more tempting think about. We can work on "improving" ourselves to get married, but how do we know we're improving the right things? Really it just is what it is. That's what I have to tell myself and before delve headlong into a sad state (which you can't avoid every now and then but anyway). I am single-fact; now what can I do to enjoy my life and help others?
As with any trial asking why doesn't get us as far as asking what can I gain from this experience. It sounds trite I know, but I think I am a more compassionate person because I've gone through this experience of spinsterhood. Hopefully there are some other good character attributes I've gained as well. I wish I could say it was patience, but I'm not a very patient person. Although, maybe I am more so than I would have been had I married at 19 or something. Anyway, Elder Uchtdorf recently gave a talk and said something I found to be spot on, "Do not wait for someone else to make your life complete. Stop second guessing yourself and wondering if you are defective...seek learning, become engaged in a meaningful career and seek fulfillment in service to others." I like that man.