Monday, April 7, 2008

No, Anything But That!

There is a word that sends chills into the hearts of every single person I know and they will do most anything not to be called this word. What is this powerful word? Bitter. It seems like when anyone wants to insult a single person for being well single, they call them bitter. "You aren't married because you're too bitter." Ouch! As if there's not a lot of bitter married people out there. I have even been accused of being bitter for writing this blog!

I was with some of my school friends in the department computer lab and we were checking our facebook accounts. One girl said-"I think I am the only girl in my high school graduating class that isn't married! And I'm not that old!" Another girl said, "Yeah, I have felt fine because I have always had an unmarried friend that is older than me, but that last older unmarried friend just got married this December! Oh well at least I'm not bitter! I mean at least I don't blog about it." Then she glanced my way. I knew she was just teasing me, but I think a lot of people would misconstrue my blog for bitterness.

I honestly I think people use the term bitter to try to control people and to try to make them believe they should always have some kind of maniacally upbeat attitude about being single and that Mr. Right is just around the corner and life will be happily ever after when they do find him. Anyway that's what it sometimes feels like-Never have a pessimistic or even realistic attitude about lifelong singleness.

I think I fall into the realistic camp. And that is what this blog is really about. Me, coming to grips with the fact that I may never marry and realizing that there are worse things that could happen. And also actually that life can be awesome as a Spinster. Not that there aren't things that I'm going to miss out on, but it doesn't mean I need to be prone to fits of crying or hate all men or delude myself either. Those seem to be what people think my options are. No, I will realistically embrace my life and if people call me bitter, so be it.

4 comments:

jennifer said...

This reminds me of your post of the various types of Spinsters, and more specifically of the picture for the bitter spinster. I'd rather not be thought of as one of those.

SB said...

My question is, Why in the world would I be bitter about not being married???

Anonymous said...

i have some friends that truely were bitter about their single status, but alas they are getting married as well so even if you were bitter it wouldn't neccessarily stop a proposal!

Mike & Kristy said...

FABULOUS, FABULOUS post my friend. Love it. Truly embodies and explains this stupid "stereotype" of realistic single women.