As a spinster you tend to think about your biological clock a lot and how everyday you are creeping closer and closer that dreaded age of 35 which is when scientists insist that fertility wanes and that your only hope is for a mutant child. For someone that has always wanted to have kids and be a mom, it is a scary thought to think your body is on a timetable. I mean at this point in my reproductive life my twenties are basically shot and if I don't reproduce in the next five years or so I am laughing in the face of fate. So in this torment of emotion it's no bad thing when you're reminded that having kids isn't always a walk in the park or if it is it requires a many hours to get the kids and their stuff ready to take to the park and then the kids will cry when you eventually have to leave the park and you and the children when be very dirty after the excursion.
I just got back from visiting my sister's family. She has two little girls aged 1 and 3 and after spending 24 hours a day with them for over two straight weeks, I am exhausted and sleep deprived! I think there wasn't one night where one of the kids wasn't up and crying in the middle of the night for some reason. It's hard being a Mom. I love my nieces, but it made me very glad to be single and childfree, at least for now. Perhaps I am not cut out for motherhood after all. I know, I know everyone says when you have you're own kids it will be different. It's just other people's kids that are difficult. While I think this may be partially true, I don't know that I totally buy it. Kids in general just demand all of your attention. There are no two ways about it, having kids involves lots of sacrifice, devotion and energy! I just don't if I'm up to that anymore, maybe when I was 23, but I don't have that boundless energy and patience I might have had when I was younger. Oh well maybe I will never have to find out if I have it now or not.
Speaking of biological clocks, I just read an article that levels the playing field just a bit. A recent study has shown that men have a biological clock too! Apparently men reproducing over the age of 35 are linked to lower pregnancy rates and higher miscarriage rates. The damaged sperm of older men can also lead to some childhood dieases in their offspring. See the article: http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/health/2008/0715/1215940927316.html
So let's get the word out. Guys should stop thinking that they can play the field for however long they want without any consequences, even if they do eventually marry a younger woman. Ok that's my take on the matter at hand. I'd like to hear if you ever feel the same way.
5 comments:
This might not be appreciated by some readers, and many might think me selfish and callous, but being a family unit of one, I can afford to be somewhat selfish. Here it is: I don't really care about my biological clock. I can't picture myself pregnant. I like kids, I work with them daily in my career, but I don't get disappointed when I come home to my little abode and find that it is still only inhabited by me. If circumstances were to change, that would great, but I'm not going to lose sleep over my current ones.
I actually like your comment Jennifer. I agree-single life is great. There is something amazing about coming home and having only to worry about yourself. Your money is yours, your stuff is yours, you don't have to answer to anybody. I really like it. I have always wanted to have a family and kids, and I still do. But at the same time, we single people really do need to find enjoyment and happiness just in case we don't get that family life. I think a lot of people get down on themselves becasue they aren't married, but just because you aren't married doesn't mean that you can't change the world still.
Thanks, Anonymous. I also think, that in regard to biological clocks, there are so many ways to have children now (medical procedures, adoption, fostering) that I don't lose sleep over that either.
Well, even for us married gals, biological clocks aren't always what they're cracked up to be.
I've wondered about the whole biological clock concept quite a bit. I didn't marry until my late twenties, and I haven't had any kids yet. For many reasons. So, now that I'm in my third decade and childless, and without much prospect of children in the near future, I sometimes wonder if my clock will strike thirteen before the stork comes to call. And I wonder how I will feel about it. Whatever happens.
(And just on a side note, married Mormon women who have no children get some of the same pressure as the single mormon women: "When are you going to get pregnant?" "When are you going to get married?" As though it's like putting a quarter into a pop machine and getting your drink. That simple, quick, convenient, and "easy." Anyway . . . I'll stop now.)
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