You won't notice if you only read me on google reader, but I've revamped the blog a bit. I have a new background(much more interesting I think) and I've updated my quote of the week(or whenever I get around to it) and the Spinster of the week and I've added a new spinster blog link. So check it out. Anyway, enough about business, onto the topic at hand.
So I'm thinking of going to a family ward. (Gasp!) I'm really tired of the singles ward scene and I've noticed I'm not really making an effort to really get to know and become friends with people in the ward. I'm just kind of coasting. The same goes for my calling too. I teach Relief Society once a month for like 30 minutes and that's it. I don't really feel like I'm contributing much. Also I think I want to get moving along before I get too old and they make me move along. I never want to have that conversation with the bishop.
I think going to the family ward might be an interesting change and it definitely would be more diverse than the singles ward, age-wise and experience-wise. Also, I know not everyone would say this, but I'd really like to work in the Young Women's organization. I feel like that would be an important contribution. I can't think of a harder time in life for girls than than the 12-18 years. I had a really good experience in YW and had some amazing leaders. I hope I could be a good influence on the girls and if nothing else I could teach them that they need to plan their lives so that if they're not married by 21 or even 23 they have other things in life to look forward to.
But here's the problem, I am not looking forward to going to church alone and sitting by myself. I also will probably be the only one in my age or situation. How will I make friends that can hang out on the weekend, go to the movies whenever? They will probably all have families to take care of. My roommate that is 31 is contemplating going to an older single adult ward (31-100), but I just don't think I could handle that. I've heard strange things. Blah, choices.
Have I mentioned I don't really like the idea of singles wards? Oh maybe their fine when you're going to college, but after that I think they are so artificial. They perpetuate the Peter Pan syndrome I think. Maybe I have said too much, but the truth is I don't really feel like I fit into any of these places. What is a spinster to do? Any ideas?
10 comments:
I started attending a family ward at 25 and never looked back. The diversity of members was amazing and opened my eyes so much. I remember walking in by myself and not worrying about it because I don't mind being alone in public, but there were always people to sit with, other women in my situation, times to sit alone and not feel out of place. There are still young adult activities I attend, but at the point I'm at, I find a family ward much more appropriate to going to worship the Lord rather than to worship my social life. Which by the way, is more busy now than when I ever was in YSA wards.
What's the "peter pan syndrome"?
Once I join a family ward again my hope would be to work with the YW, too. I think it's the most influential age and I would love to help teach what I know and to be a good influence and a good friend.
I also agree with you - it's important to help prepare young girls for life other than marriage so they can manage on their own.
p.s. I like the new blog look and, yes, I'm a google reader so I'm glad you mentioned it.
Oh, but I think you'll like the home ward and make some good friends. And, I wouldn't worry too much about your social life once you join the family ward. Jenn's a good example of having a 'busier' social life since joining a family ward.
Thanks you guys for the comments. I appreciate your experiences and your confidence in me.
Oh and Peter Pan Syndrome is when guys never grow up, get married or take on much responsibility.
I started going to a family ward in the summer and I really enjoy it. I feel like I fit in, I got a calling right away, and I always manage to find someone to sit by.
Thanks for adding me to your list! I felt the same way not too long ago and made the switch to a family ward. Honestly, I think the only reason I was able to do it was because I was still living within the boundaries of my family's ward so I knew I could sit with my parents. I loved being away from the drama of a singles ward, and being able to focus on being in church to learn - not to find a husband. I got to teach the sunbeams - which was probably my favorite calling. But there were times it was hard. I missed the socialization with people who understood me, and I struggled to not get depressed watching all the young newlyweds in the ward. The only thing I regret about that experience was that I assumed that I wouldn't have anything in common with any of the women my age because I was single and they were married. So I didn't really make the attempt to meet anyone or make new friends. If you decide to do it, make the effort to meet people and make friends in the ward. We have a lot more to offer than our marital status!
I was in a family ward for a couple of years before I moved and went back to school last fall. I enjoyed it and I did get called to teach in YW - it was a blast! But so was teaching in Primary. And I am a firm believer that if you feel prompted to do something, then even if it is hard you will be blessed. And get involved with Enrichment groups that do things you enjoy or start one that other people could join. The family ward's book club put me in contact with a lot of other women my age who, although married w/ children, became good friends who I could talk to and even occasionally see movies with. ; )
Sit by a young family. They will love the extra help with their kids in sacrament meeting, and you will never feel lonely.
I started attending a family ward when I was 29 and have refused to look back. Until recently (I've moved to a new state and my new family ward is "interesting"), I've loved being in a family ward. YW kept me extremely busy and I felt incredibly important. I've been in Primary for 2 years now and have loved it.
I take an 80 year-old woman to church, making sacrament the most interest portion of the day.
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