So do you ever get bummed out reading some people's blogs? I do. Some blogs are the equivalent of a Christmas newletter. They relate only the best things about a person or family's life and make it look perfect or at least better than yours. Everyone seems accomplished and happy and good looking. And the worst of these kinds of blogs are the ones from people your own age or even younger, people you went to high school with or even people your siblings' age.
Recently an old friend from high school added me as a friend on facebook. Fine. Good. Then I happened to see she had a blog posted on her profile so I went to it. It was an alright blog. She had a cute family- two little kids. It made me feel a wee bit envious, but happy for her. Then I saw a link on her blogroll to a blog that linked toother blogs from people that graduated the same year I did. This was a mistake, because as I perused through blog after blog of my peers with pictures and stories of their spouses, and kids, and homes, and great jobs, etc. ad nauseum, I got nauseated. Yet I couldn't stop looking at them. I felt like in comparison, my life couldn't compare. It was like, "look at everything you missed and can never have."
I will admit that it wasn't totally logical thinking, but the raw emotion of it overwhelmed me-a moment of spinster weakness perhaps. It's hard to see people you grew up with and not compare yourself to them. Oh course they have struggles and problems and maybe I wouldn't want to trade places with them, but from now on I'm taking those kind of blogs in smaller doses. It's safer that way. Does anyone have any similar experiences?
9 comments:
Luckily I don't have those feelings when looking at blogs but I still struggle with the 'look at everything you missed and can never have.' That awful feeling at the pit of my stomach when I contemplate my life is not fun at all.
Yes I feel that same way sometimes, not always. I know there are good things maybe even great things about my life, but it does seem the grass is always greener on he other side. One comfort is that on facebook on the Compare Friends app. 100% of people where more jealous of me than there other friend! LOL. Oh it's the little things in life isn't it?
I stay away from those blogs--unless it's someone I'm really close to. They're all the same and they're all quite boring. Might be interesting to look at for two seconds to see who they married or whatever, but other than that--snoooze.
Also, marriage is hard work. People are usually showing only the fruit of their labor. They're not going to blog about how their husband picks at his feet and farts in bed.
Just sayin'. :)
I hardly read blogs, I think they're kinda boring (you should be happy I find your blog interesting enough to read :) Sometimes I do find a blog that offers info I'm interested in, though (like electronic stuff). But I just get tired of reading about everyone's children, house-hunting experiences, and political views etc. I'm very interested in learning about people, but not through blogs! Anyway, it IS pretty tough reading about things that are out of my reach and so I stop myself from reading those blogs.
I COMPLETELY agree with you, actually!!! It seems that on particular days when I'm down and out, I surf for something to take my mind off things. ...and then I wallow in self-pity for a second {or 2 or 3}. Like a moth to a flame...I'm drawn to it, and yet it kills. Only sometimes, and yet, UGH on those times! I am, however; loving this blog!! =) Way to be real!
P.S. I have a completely wretched thought that goes through my head intermittently....in these, here, last days, does it seem like you have to be nearly anorexic and high maintenance to snag a guy? I know it's wrong to think so and there are *some* non-spinsters who don't fit the Hollywood deemed 'ideal,' but it sure seems like the male species are on the hunt for one particular lady. Just a thought....and I LOVE all of your thoughts (especially Spinster and i i eee's thoughts). =)
Kayz-
I'm glad you feel the same way I do about the blogs. Sometimes they are just Ugh!
And about guys being only interested in very skinny, high maintenance girls, whether it is true or not-it FEELS true. If that is the case I will never marry, but maybe there do exist some men not so shallow and I will have to focus on them.
But I will have to say I have a friend who is quite thin and pretty yet not married against her firm wishes, so you never know.
it's 'ad nauseam', not 'ad nauseum'
I know and it stinks. I had the same problem but then I figured different people use their blogs for different things. There are some that just use it to keep family and friends updated with their little families and they keep it very superficial.
Then....there are real bloggers.
Those of us who aren't afraid to put the ugly parts in writing. Who want people to know and understand all aspects of us...the good and the bad....and still care enough to come back the next day.
So who cares about the superficial folks. You are the real deal. :o)
I was thinking about this post recently. And sorry, if I'm now coming into "smug married" territory (just got married last week, yeeha!), but I've realized how much I want to celebrate the good moments in my life, in my marriage. Basically, I'm trying not to be so judgmental anymore of the people that just blog like their lives are awesome all the time.
Twenty years from now, when I read my blog(s), I'd like to think I was grateful and happy. Not cynical and whiny. Because life is pretty great. I want to remember the good things, and not dwell on the trivial.
Also, we are to keep our problems private within our marriages. I would be a horrible wife to run to the internet and complain (not that I have anything to complain about--still honeymoonin'). ;)
Anyway, sorry this was more of an awakening for me and had to share it. I've learned now the happier I try to be, the happier I want everyone else to be. I've been guilty of saying horrible things like, "yeah, well I bet her husband does this horrible thing or that horrible thing" to make me feel better. But it never did make me feel better.
Again, sorry. Just wanted to share that.
Post a Comment