So I have seriously been considering ending this blog. I thought maybe it had run its course and that I had said all I needed to say, but maybe I haven't. I know the key to keeping a blog going is posting often and I am so bad at that, but I can't seem to give up Spinster in the City, so I'm going to start writing again and more often. I'm updating the page and format as well. Lucky you!A lot has happened in the last 3 months and yet not much has happened either. I'm still at the same job in the same city in the same house and still looking for a full-time job. But I will say I have been dating more-alot for me. I've kind of been putting myself out there--I even went speed dating, for the first time in my life! But the guys I've been dating have been, even for me, something akin to dating the "comic book guy" above. I don't want to sound proud or anything, but I feel like I could do better. They were quite a bit older than me, had kids, were not good looking and were kinda boring, but I was willing to give them a chance, because it wasn't like I was dating anyone else and shouldn't we give everyone at least a chance? Because what if we are being too picky? And you know what conclusion I am coming to-no, you don't have to give everyone a shot. If your gut says no, go with you gut!
As single women over a certain age do we begin to settle for men far beneath us? A case in point, two new girl friends in my mid-singles ward are both smart, pretty, fun, with it and both in their mid-thirties. Maybe it's because of this last fact they feel like they need to broaden their horizons or just that the pickings are slim at that age and in our ward, but one of these girls pointed out to me a guy in Sunday School who she said she really liked. Apparently they had even gone out on a date because she had clued him in that she was interested, but he had never asked her out again! I was shocked he hadn't asked someone like her out again and I was even more shocked she was interested in the first place, he doesn't seem entirely "with it" and I had noticed before was quite socially awkward. The other girl had made it clear to another guy 12 years older than her, that she was interested. They went out once or twice and that was the end of it, but she still had a little thing for him. Huh?
Now lets bring this back to me, because now I have a little crush on a guy in the ward I would not have really considered before, and yet he is not asking me out despite my attentions! What is wrong with these guys! And even more important why do we care?
5 comments:
Give it time. I'm a firm believer that everything happens when it is supposed to happen. We may not like these plans that are made for us, but I know we planned it once upon a time. There are reasons some people have to wait longer than others. Think of how much better of a person you are now than if you would have got married at 20 or even younger. I always wanted to be married with kids by the time I was 20, but I'm so glad I waited until I was 27 to get married. I feel I am more mature and not as selfish as I was when I was younger.
I think I understand what you mean, remember the joke?
"How are men like parking spaces? The good ones are all either taken or handicapped."
Not particularly politically correct, but kind of true. There seem to be a lot of losers out there. And perhaps it's true that the guys who are with it were with it a long time ago and already got married to great girls while the ones who are left are the ones who didn't figure it out.
I've also had the experience where I find that men much older than what I'm looking for are interested, while guys my own age usually couldn't care less.
That said, I have actually met some quality guys that, while they didn't seem to be a match for me, have renewed my faith that they are out there. And after all, I think I am continually growing and, hopefully becoming better. I'd like to give the guys the same benefit of the doubt.
I have to admit your post has me wondering if there have been really with-it men that were frustrated with me because I didn't get the clue they were interested in me, or didn't reciprocate their affection. I'm also wondering if I am the female version of the Comic Book Guy for some men as well.
Yes, ww I agree everyone has the potential to improve and I'm sure some of these guys will "get it" one day. And not that they were bad guys, they were nice guys, but just not right for me. And what I think I realized from this is that I don't have to continue to go out with someone that isn't right for me just because I don't want to seem too picky or something.
I know, I know, why didn't I already understand this. Well let's just say I'm not a relationship genius, but I'm working on it! :) Ps that said, I did like your joke ww.
And Mormonja-thanks for your support, when I finally do get married I will be ready and it will be the right time!
And Jenn-I never really thought of you as the comic book guy type, hahaha. But it could be there were guys out there that were interested and we didn't pick up on it and give them enough reciprocation to have them ask us out. I actually think about that a lot with some guys. Like Craig especially, but actually I thought I was more than obvious, but maybe not. Oh well!
Post a Comment