Many of us are intelligent, independent, educated women that have lots of dreams and ambitions. But lets say one of these dreams is to join the Peace Corps, that's a dandy goal and all but how many single LDS young men do you think you're going to meet in your three years in the bush? Well unless you take one with you, then probably none. Maybe you'll love your time in Africa or whatever far flung place, but you basically are taking yourself off the market for three years. Now that is an opportunity cost. Is that fair? No. Is that reality? Pretty much yes. Hmm...
Ok so lets say your goal is not so exotic. Maybe you just want to get out of Utah and move back East. That may be a good plan, but is it practical for the marriage minded? Let's refer to some real statistics. I present a chart from National Geographic published in Feb 2007. For a better image you can go to the site
http://catholicgauze.blogspot.com/2007/01/go-east-young-man.html
As you can see there are a lot more single women than men Back East (and in Provo) then there are in Mesa, Las Vegas, Dallas and most of California. So this may throw a wrench in your plans. You may have always wanted to live Boston, but if you do you may be spending more time with your girlfriends than with actual dates. Now this matter is even more complicated for the unmarried LDS gal because the majority of LDS members also live in the Western United States. While I couldn't find the map of US LDS membership that I have seen, I'll give you the salient information. Utah had about 75% LDS population while Massachusetts had about a 1% LDS population.
So what does a young spinster do? Take a risk delaying marriage or plant herself firmly where the single LDS men are? Well either option doesn't guarantee that your will find a spouse, but unless you have inspiration one way or the other, it's something to think about. And that's what this blog is all about, to think about the issues facing LDS spinsters. I personally would go out and live your dreams and hope for the best, but of course I am still single. :) Ladies, have any of you out there had to make that choice? What were the results?
3 comments:
I had the opportunity to advance my career significantly, but there was a social snag: I would be the only young adult for more than an hour radius. It wasn't an easy decision, but in the end I pursued the advancement and I'm thrilled I did. I had many unexpected experiences that changed my life for the better, and I am a more grounded person because of it.
Ah yes, opportunity cost. It sure does put a damper on things. Especially when you transplant yourself to a new location to add to your chances of finding an LDS man, and you come out unsuccessful.
I had a friend that moved to Utah from the Midwest, she thought her chances would increase. She ended up leaving Utah very disappointed. But competition is fierce here in the valley. I mean, when you're dealing with odds such as that time I counted 47 women and 2 men in a Sunday School class. Talk about slim pickings for us -it's a gold mine for them.
A friend of mine had no luck with men here in Utah, and decided to move on with her life with the realization that she may never get married. Turns out, she moved to Illinois for school and met her future hubby.
Another friend decided to go on a mission at the age of 26 rather than wait around for love. She's still out serving, and I have no doubt she'll come back a different person; one who will make things happen rather than let things happen.
It's important to move forward and do what you love, even if it means you may not find love. Desperation is obvious and if you live your life hoping for some guy to come along you'll let other opportunities pass you by!
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